My $3k journey to self-diagnosing perimenopause

A tale of unnecessary expenditures, ludicrous inefficiency, and eventual glory

General and sustained shittiness. It was difficult to articulate exactly what it was that I was experiencing. I had been on the hamster wheel for five years — juggling motherhood and a demanding career in tech marketing. As a former athlete, I knew what it felt like to feel strong and good in my body and mind. This was not it.

Was it that I hadn’t gotten good sleep in years? Increased work stress? Were the compounding effects of raising young kids during a pandemic (and all that late-night doom scrolling) finally catching up? After months of knowing I wasn’t in the good place, I decided to make health my #1 priority. Here is where that journey took me.

The maddening state of midlife healthcare for women

I saw a neurologist for chronic headaches, an acupuncturist on the recommendation of a friend for bloating, cramps, and just generally not feeling well. I went to my OBGYN, saw a therapist, tried an app, started taking supplements, and more. The winding path was inefficient, expensive, and extremely frustrating.

I’m sharing the full breakdown here so you can avoid doing the same.

Eventually I pieced together a care plan that returned sustained positive results. It was a combination of going back on hormonal birth control to reduce PMS symptoms AND incorporating some very specific supplements, diet, and lifestyle changes to reduce inflammation from my Mohana care plan. It should not have taken this long, been this expensive, or required so much research. But here we are. This is the state of women’s health care in 2024.

What I wish clinicians would have done instead

It is completely ridiculous that I had to do hours and hours of research online, spend over $3k, and see six different providers to get to a care plan I started seeing good results with. Most women do not have the resources to do this.

This is what adequate care from perimenopause-educated clinicians could have looked like in my journey.

• The neurologist could have asked what other symptoms I was experiencing and pattern-matched them with perimenopause given my age (over 35). I could have been referred to a hormone health specialist BEFORE we went ahead with the CT scan or the prescription for antidepressants to help with headaches. A patient intake form could also have been optimized to help here given my age and sex given that headaches are a common symptom during the menopause transition.

• The acupuncturist (who specializes in women and reproductive issues) could have mentioned that I might be in the early stages of perimenopause. They could have offered that many women feel better going back on hormones, and what the other options were for treatments in addition to acupuncture (which has limited clinical evidence).

• My OBGYN could have offered blood tests to measure my levels (including more than just the sex hormones) before recommending going back on birth control. They could have given me a pamphlet or other information on perimenopause or even mentioned that word to me. They could have pointed me at some of the great resources available from experts in this field (special shoutout to Dr. Mary Claire Haver). I was handed an entire book and educated about various apps I could use after confirming my first pregnancy at 6-weeks — where is the proactive education for the menopause transition?

We have got to do better for women.

People born with ovaries who are 35+ years old represent over 25% of our population. And 85% of them will have adverse symptoms during the long transition to menopause.

How to create a care plan that will work for you

I want women to stay in the game. And personally, I want to have a FANTASTIC second half. Over time, I’ve come to accept that being born with the bits to create human life comes at a cost, but it shouldn’t be this high.

Check out my previous posts and resources for more efficient pathways to feeling better.

• The TLDR on perimenopause

• How to find a hormone health specialist for perimenopause

• The hormone health solutions database

• How to tell if your symptoms could all be hormone related

• The best peri/menopause resources